Why it’s time to love your summer body just the way it is
Summer! Are you ready for it? Do you feel excited about the warmer weather and all that comes with it in the months ahead? Or are you feeling a bit of trepidation? Gone are the days of hiding behind layers of clothing – thick socks, sweaters, long pants and coats. In their place – shorts, sandals, dresses, skirts and bathing suits. Free, easy living here we come, right? If you are one who struggles with your body image, its not that clear cut. For many there is a caveat that comes with the lighter layers and shorter hemlines. A nagging weariness about how our “unveiled” bodies look, now that they are exposed during the summer season.
Does the freedom of breezy summer sometimes feel like a double-edged sword?
When the layers come off, our self-scrutiny starts. Who is not familiar with the rather humbling, and most dreaded, bathing suit shopping experience? We go into the change room feeling kind of okay, but when the unflattering florescent lighting exposes our pasty white flesh, any feelings of positivity vanish. We notice bulges we wish were svelte, hair in places it should not be and lack of muscle tone everywhere else. If that is not bad enough, once we take our new bathing suit for a try at the pool or the beach in the early days of summer, we start comparing ourselves with others who we think look better than we do.
Its easy to believe that our lives would be so much better or easier, if only we looked as good as others do.
It’s a nasty self-fulfilling prophecy. The less attractive you feel, the less attractive you actually look. It’s also leads down a bottomless pit of senseless comparison. Nothing good can come of it. Yet we do it anyway. Why?
If you think there is nothing you can do about thinking like this, you are mistaken.
I have written about the concept of our inner-naysayer or gremlin before (CLICK HERE to check out my previous blog on How to Tame your Inner Gremlin and keep it from interfering with your life ). And to summarize, the inner-naysayer is that inner voice which is never satisfied with the way you are. It has you think you are not enough. Somehow lesser than others. Because you feel you are not as smart, good looking … or simply as perfect as you think others appear to be. A strictly work related version of this is commonly called Impostor Syndrome. Sound familiar? All humans suffer under this affliction in one way or another.
We adults have a nasty habit of judging ourselves
We believe what our negative inner voice says, even though it is a figment of our own creation and not routed in reality. One of the most important aspects of coaching is helping clients become aware of their inner-naysayer. And to help clients develop the choice to stop believing what that negative inner voice has to say.
Our inner-naysayer accounts for much of the misery in our life, and yet, most of us are unaware of it.
But this does not have to be this way. For example, if you are a parent, relative or friend of a young child, you do not have to look far to see alternative ways of being with yourself. Kids accept themselves as they are. For example, ask a child what hair colour they wish they had, they would just look at you blankly. The idea of looking different than they do just does not occur to young kids. Also, have you noticed that if you tell them they can’t do something, they take it as a personal challenge to show you that they can. No doubting. No worrying. Just trying and learning.
Self-judgement is an affliction most young kids do not suffer from.
As a child, we believe wholeheartedly in ourselves. Over the years, we have many experiences which tell us otherwise. The inner-naysayer is created subconsciously through our experiences in life as we grow up. Many of these negative beliefs are also created though exposure to messages explicitly hidden in our social culture and in media. Some of the negative beliefs occur from unhealthy relationships with family, friends, co-workers or even strangers. Healthy dialogue on the subject with a coach creates opportunity for us learn how to notice and question assumptions we picked up along the way.
What if we all took a page out of a child’s book and just accepted: How. We. Look. Right. Now.
Let me ask you this: What would happen if we accepted ourselves, as we are? Would we not hold our head a little higher? Enjoy the way swimming in the outdoor pool feels, versus spending even one second thinking about how we look while doing it? Would we not finally wear that sleeveless top and love ourselves in it? Absolutely. And this is possible for you.
Instead of worrying about what you think you should look like, start enjoying how good you feel, just the way you are.
What would your 80-year-old future self say if you explained your current insecurities about not looking or being “good enough”? You would tell yourself that life is too short to worry about all of that senseless, superficial stuff. Our saboteur may have us live small, but your true self knows better. Isn’t it time to put your saboteur out to sea and start living your real life? Just the way you want, the way you look just as you are …. and rock it?
It’s your time now.
While slaying your saboteur is not an easy task, it is a lot easier and faster when you work with someone who has experience doing this. Everyone needs help once in a while. You can waist a lot of energy trying to battle is by yourself. Or you can contact someone like myself, to tackle it together. Click HERE to get in contact with me for an obligation free call to start the conversation.
I am available for one-on-one coaching clients. Besides personal coaching, I also teach people how to coach themselves, either one-on-one or within a Mastermind group. Which method would work best for you? Check out the options by CLICKING HERE.
Namaste,
Simone
