What is the silver lining of your commute? The power of reframing

It’s called Reframing.
In fact, it is a well researched skill. This is the abridged version of how you do it: You consciously make a point of looking at difficult situations in a different way. By intentionally picking a perspective which serves you better than your current one. And in the process, you train your brain to go from resisting the negative to embracing the positive. It is a way of circumventing the negative interpretations our brains are wired to default to. If this sounds too good to be true, its not. Keep reading.Reframing a less than ideal situation into a more positive one can totally change the way you experience your life.
Linda & Charlie Bloom, from their study on Psychology Today, “Reframing: The transformative power of suffering,” define reframing like this: “Reframing requires seeing something in a new way, in a context that allows us to recognize and appreciate positive aspects of our situation. Reframing helps us to use whatever life hands us as opportunities to be taken advantage of, rather than problems to be avoided. Breakdowns, no matter from what source, illness, accident, and losses are transformed into challenges and new possibilities to experience life more fully and to become a more whole human being.”And it’s simple to do. It just takes two steps.
First, catch yourself when you interpret something in a negative way which is burdening you. In other words, notice what is happening. Second, once you notice it, challenge yourself to find a number of different ways to be with the situation which would make it better for you. Third, pick one (or more) of those more positive interpretations and use it as your reference going forward. In other words, live your life from that perspective instead.Ready to try it? Let’s look at a common frustrater in many peoples’ lives – a long, arduous commute.
Let’s look at this example as a case study. Most of us can relate to the frustrations of getting to and from work, either in a car or using public transit. As I share this example of mine, I recommend you think of one example out of your life to use as a practice scenario. I used to have a long drive to and from work everyday. The traffic was horrendous. My anxiety and irritability levels were high by the time I arrived at work. And in turn, once I was home with my family at the end of the day. Needless to say, this did not serve me. It kept me from living the life I wanted for myself. After doing this for quite a while (longer than I care to admit), I decided something had to give. Either I was going to work somewhere else, or I needed to change my relationship with the commute. I chose the later.Looking to reframe a frustratingly long commute into a valuable way to spend your time?
But how was I going to see my commute as a good thing? I needed to change my perspective on it. My existing thoughts were:- The commute wasted time I did not have.
- I was wearing my car down.
- I spend too much on gas.
- I was polluting the planet.
- I could use the time in a more constructive way by listening to podcasts to learn more about what interested me. This was really helpful. I learned so much while I was in my car, that even a bad traffic jam did not phase me anymore. It was more time for me to hear the next chapter on my audio book.
- Calling friends and family during my drive using a Bluetooth car phone device. I used my drive to regularly keep in touch with important people in my life. For example, to check in with my mom. Or to have a (toddler-free) conversation with my spouse about routine household related things we did not want to use our valuable family time together to discuss.
- I could ditch the car all together and ride my bike to work. Biking to work too about the same amount of time, except it made it easier to fit a workout into my day.
- I could enjoy not talking or thinking about stuff and see my car as a “mobile thought spa.” I put on relaxing music, took deep breaths and enjoyed having some quiet time just to myself.
